Monsters in the Midwest – Book Two
Title: Northwoods Wolfman
Series: Monsters in the Midwest, Book 2
Author: Scott Burtness
Publication date: June 24th, 2015
Genres: Fiction, Horror, Comedy
I saw the cover for Northwoods Wolfman by Scott Burtness and thought, huh, this might be interesting. I knew it would be different and I was looking for a fun and easy reading story to keep me entertained for a little while.
What happens to a tick when it feeds off a werewolf? Hmmm. A humorous and horrible thought. I mean, THINK about it.
I do want to warn you about something. If you are ever in Trappersville, WI, I would highly recommend staying away from the state park. It could be very hazardous to your health.
I did not read the first novel, but it wasn’t necessary. I didn’t feel like anything was missing, but I would like to catch up with Wisconsin Vamp.
Each character is a total individual, unique and lovable, contributing to this unique and fun read. Dallas does things believing they are right, only to figure out he could have handled things differently, saving himself a lot of anguish. Love makes strange bedfellows with Lois and Herb and the most loyal, faithful, truest friend Dallas could ever have is Stanley. He overcomes his fears for his friend.
I sure was feeling bad for the poor werewolf when the story was done.
I received a copy of Northwoods Wolfman in return for an honest and unbiased review.
When Dallas is recruited by an ancient order of monster hunters, he’s more than happy to sign up. The self-proclaimed Hero of Trappersville did kill a bloodthirsty vampire, after all. As far as Dallas is concerned, monsters are monsters, and they have no place in Wisconsin.
Or do they? And does Dallas really get to choose which side he’s on?
The nasally voice cut through the whiskey fog, rousing Dallas from his stupor. Before he could put meaning to the words, turn his head and identify the speaker, the person was gone.
“Haven’t seen him b-before,” Stanley commented.
“Stanwee?” Dallas slurred. “Whend’choo get here?” Stanley had hung around with Dallas and Herb for years. Wiry, fidgety, and a terrible bowler, he had rounded out their backwoods version of the Three Musketeers, or more like Two Musketeers and That Stuttering Guy Who Claimed He Was Abducted by Aliens. Since Herb’s death, he’d been Dallas’s near-constant drinking companion.
“J-just now,” Stanley replied. “Saw you talking to that guy,” he said, pointing toward the door.
Dallas’s bleary gaze followed Stanley’s finger, and he locked eyes with a stranger across the bar. The two considered each other for a moment before the man nodded and walked outside.
With a shrug and a short belch, Dallas returned his attention to Stanley. His friend was scrutinizing a business card, a perplexed look layered on top of the usually perplexed look he wore as a matter of course, making him look especially… Dallas groped for the right word… perplexed.
“Crap on a cracker, Stanley. You looking for the cure for cancer on that thing? Give’er here and let me help you with the big words.” Swiping the card, he read out loud.
“Find us. You’re needed.”
Dallas borrowed Stanley’s perplexed look and tried it on for a moment. He’d heard that before. Recent like. A nasally voice. For some reason, the face of the man he’d just been trading looks with popped back into his mind. The voice he recalled seemed like it would fit the man’s face. Gaunt, squinty eyes, straight brown hair slicked back from a dark widow’s peak, scraggly hairs making a go at becoming a goatee. Yeah, it could’ve been that guy, but why was he talking to Dallas? What did they talk about? Why leave the card? A closer look popped the tab on a deeper mystery. Why leave a card telling him to find someone but not leave an address or a number? It was a mystery, pure and simple, and there were few things Dallas hated more than mysteries.
“Guy must have a busted furnace,” Dallas reasoned out loud, causing Stanley’s head to bob in assent. “Jackass didn’t leave a number though. How the hell am I supposed to help if he didn’t leave me a number?”
“Something’s on the b-back,” Stanley offered, a touch of drama coloring his tone. Unlike Dallas, Stanley liked mysteries. He had every season of Murder, She Wrote, Columbo, and Veronica Mars, and took great pleasure in rewatching them and solving the crimes before Angela Lansbury, Peter Falk, or Kristen Bell.
Dallas turned the card over, and sure enough, there was more.
TURN 2 2 AT 2 2 2
Dallas read the line once, then twice, trying to make it make sense. Sometimes, the right amount of alcohol allowed for just the kind of out-of-the-box thinking a riddle like this might need to solve. Sadly, this wasn’t one of those times. This time, the amount of alcohol Dallas had imbibed didn’t help him to think around corners, so to speak. It just helped him get more upset in less time. A win from an efficiency standpoint perhaps, but otherwise a complete loss.
“The hell does that mean? Well, I guess the jackass will just have to freeze.” With a grumbled curse, Dallas crumpled the card and dropped it on the bar. Slapping Stanley on the back, he stumbled toward the door and into the gathering night, the strange man and even stranger card already forgotten.
ABOUT SCOTT BURTNESS
Scott lives in the Midwest with his wife and their boxer-pitt mix, Frank. He’s a horror, urban fantasy, and dark comedy fan, and also enjoys beer, bowling, karaoke, and rooting for the underdog. After not nearly enough consideration, he decided to write about the things he enjoys. The result was the Monsters in the Midwest series.